Wednesday, October 23, 2013

...and then my heart burst into pieces



The terrible 2's have hit full force!! Our toddler (while incredibly adorable) has been nothing short of a monster for the past 4-5 days. Our well behaved boy has been taken over by this screaming, fit throwing, pee'd on the bathroom rug on purpose boy. I don't know whether to lock him in his room until it passes or start pouring a lot of Bailey's in my coffee in the morning. I keep reminding myself that this is a phase and this to shall pass. 

Then there is this little sweety. She's snuggly and squishy and oh so precious. She's also quick to cry if she's unhappy and she flat out refuses to take a bottle. Lately she seems to have an unsettled tummy which is causing her to not sleep so great at night and causing some crankiness during the day. Between the fussy infant and disobedient toddler, I was running low on sleep and patience. 

As I cleared away the lunch dishes I got a text from Scott that said, "Off work early, let's go hiking!"  I glanced outside and noticed the sun shining through the leaves and puffs of white clouds dotting the blue sky. I looked down at the remenants of a tuna salad sandwich on my toddlers plate and suddenly knew a hike on this fall day was exactly what we needed. 

The weather is finally cool enough that polar fleece and hats are required. I bundled up the kids and laced up our shoes as Scott pulled up the drive. 

Minutes later we were at New Harmonie State Park. Kids were strapped into their carry packs and into the woods we went. 


Just enough leaves had fallen to cause a slight "crunch" beneath our feet. Sunbeams streamed down between the leaf covered branches above. And the Fish4 happily made their way through the trees. 

Deep in the woods I exhaled my frustration and exhaustion with the past few days. I inhaled the fresh air and refueled my patience level at the same time. I had a warm little girl in a bear cub suit snuggled in my chest. I watched her eyes take in the enormous trees that surrounded us. They must have looked like giants to her. 

 She stayed awake as long as she could before giving in to the swaying motion of our hike and giving in to sleep. Ahead of me I watched our boy delight in the colored leaves and fallen trees. 

He especially liked crossing over the bridges, even though the water had long ago dried up. I watched his head go from side to side, taking in as much as he could. The smile didn't leave his face throughout the hike. 


As we walked in silence I gave thanks for the trials of raising small children as I wouldn't have appreciated our family hike as much without them. The moment was perfect. My heart was so full of the beauty of this place and the beauty of experiencing it with my little family. Paisley wasn't the only one that smiled the entire hike. I looked at the sweet faces of my loves and felt so peaceful, so relaxed and so happy. It was then I felt my heart could burst into a million, happy, glittery pieces. 

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Sunday, October 20, 2013

Post Pregnancy Thoughts

Now that all those crazy pregnancy hormones that had me sobbing through verse after verse of "You are My Sunshine," have left my system, I want to revisit my pregnancy. I never want to forget the highs and not-so-highs of being pregnant.

The lows...
-The constant worry.  I worried about the baby, Scott worried about me and the baby. I worried about Scott worrying about me and the baby.  Worrying sucks.
-The time frame that your pants are uncomfortably snug but it'd be silly to start wearing maternity clothes that early. It's also the same time frame when (you think) people are noticing your weight gain but they don't know you're pregnant.  You just feel fat, not pregnant.
-The constant need to pee. Having to pee the second before you leave the house and the need to pee as soon as you get to your destination, even if your destination is just a mile down the road.
-Hemorrhoids. No details needed.
-Heartburn. The kind that wakes you up in the middle of the night, thinking you are going to throw up.
-2am wake-ups for no good reason. Everyone else sleeps while you watch shadows dance on the walls.
-Painful internal punches. Maybe the baby does want to crack your rib cage. We'll never know.
-Contractions. Good lord they hurt.

The highs...
-Seeing the (+) on a test. The scariest and happiest symbol ever.
-Sharing the magical secret with only your husband that the two of you have created a tiny person.
-Sharing with the world that you are growing a human.
-Wearing cute maternity clothes.
-Seeing baby via ultra-sound for the first time.
-Hearing baby's heart beat for the first time.
-Hearing the Dr say that everything looks great.
-The friendliness of strangers after they see your bulging belly.
-Feeling baby start to move (oh the flutters are amazing).
-Feeling the baby hiccup.
-Counting down the weeks until meeting the newest member of the family.
-Sharing smiles with other pregnant mommas, smiles that say "good luck" and "congratulations."
-"Expectant Mother" parking spaces at the grocery.
-Having your husband gently place his hands on your belly and talk to the baby.
-An excuse to eat that extra cream filled long john.
-Preparing the nursery.
-Seeing a car seat fastened in your backseat.
-Seeing pink/blue items and teeny tiny clothes start to take over your home.
-That second you know you are minutes away from locking eyes with your newborn.

The highs wouldn't be as high if we didn't have to deal with the lows. I'm grateful for it all and will forever love the memories I have of carrying our little fish.

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Saturday, October 19, 2013

Welcome! Can I get you a coffee?

Life is funny, messy, loud, exhausting, loving, and busy. And that is all within the first hour of waking up.
Clearly they didn't want to sit next to one another
If you stop by our house this is what you'll find... I'll greet you at the door, possibly still in my pajamas. If I'm dressed in day clothing, consider yourself lucky. There's zero chance I've brushed my hair, so please just pretend the wavy mess of brown, that smells slightly of puked up milk that resides on my head is the newest trend.  I'll have a baby in my arms and a toddler wrapped around my leg.  I'll be smiling because I'll be happy to see you.

Come on in and have a seat. You may have to move that tractor off the couch. If you sit in a wet spot, let me know and I'll get you a towel.  What's the wet spot you asked? Either spit up or there is a chance my diaper free toddler didn't make it to the toilet.  Either way, it's harmless.

Hopefully your visit is purely social because there is zero chance we can have any sort of adult conversation. Our toddler thinks all house guests come over for the sole purpose of playing trains with him. If you don't join him in his room to play, he'll just keep asking you. You want to hold the baby? I'll happily let you, but then you'd have to excuse me for a few minutes while I go unload the dishwasher. And the dryer.  And then put the clean clothes away.  It's much easier to do those tasks when my arms are child-free.

Oh great you'll join me for a coffee!!  Can I offer you a snack?   I have goldfish crackers, raisins, and suckers. If you want a sucker, you're going to have pee on the potty first so my toddler doesn't think you are getting special privileges.   Speaking of eating, I need to feed the infant.  Don't freak out that I'm going to breastfeed, that's what we do in this house. If you suddenly want to go play with the train set, I completely understand.

Please don't think laziness is the reason my living room is covered in toys and books. I'd rather spend my day playing with my toddler and his toys then picking them up. They'll get picked up later tonight but during the day I am fine having a living room that resembles FAO Schwartz. I'd change the station from the Sprout station, but I currently don't know where the remote is. However, if you need a periwinkle crayon, I can give you it's exact location.

This is the season of life I'm in.  It's funny, messy, loud, exhausting, loving, and busy.  It's perfect.  Come on over, I'll pour you a cup of coffee.

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The Lovely Lila at 2 Months

At Birth           2 Months
       7lbs 5oz        12lbs 9oz (90%)
19.5 inches 23 inches (70%) 

She's quick with a smile and will tell you she's good (Ahhhh Goooo) as you make eye contact.  She's taken an interest in her brother, her eyes following him around the room.  She'll smile at him from a distance but the closer he gets, the more apprehensive she appears (smart girl). 

She continues to be an excellent eater, demanding a meal every hour and a half or so.  She burps like a full grown man and smiles in relief immediately after.  She will talk your ear off as long as you let her.  She loves holding eye contact and cooing and gooing.  She loves having her diaper changed and continues to do the "starfish" as soon as her diaper and clothing come off.

She's sleeping very good and I continue to be amazed at how different her sleep habits are from her brothers.  She is up for the day between 7am-8am.  She'll nap on and off during the day, but is having longer awake periods with each passing day.  She'll go down for the night around 8:30 and will lay in her bed and talk to the camera monitor for 10-20 minutes before closing her eyes and falling asleep.  I love watching her settle in for the night and I'm so thankful she can put herself to sleep.

On a good night she will sleep until 4 or 5am, eat for 20 minutes and fall right back to sleep.  On a bad night she will throw a 2am feeding into the mix.  While I love sleeping all night, I don't mind those 2am feedings.  It's a peaceful time that I get to spend with my baby.  I love how her rocking chair is next to a large window that allows the moon to wash over her face as I feed her in the early morning hours.  The only sound are the grain bins drying the corn.  It's a soft hum that I will miss once this season is over.  She does not like the snuggle wrap and will pull a Houdini and get her arms out, know matter how tight I make it.

She's in 3 month clothing but 3 month sleepers are tight length wise.  She is wearing size 2 diapers and I occasionally put her in cloth diapers during the day.  At her pediatric appointment, the Dr. was full of praise of our healthy and chunky baby.

Paisley has affectionately picked up the nicknames "Lila Bean" and "Chubawub" for his sister.  I don't think the 2nd name will be welcome once she's a little older.

Lila has good head control and has conquered sitting in the Bumbo for short segments of time.  She continues to hate tummy time and will scream her way through it.  She hasn't rolled over except for the one time I previously mentioned, although at night in her crib it appears she's trying awfully hard to get on her stomach.  She's got a grip like a snapping turtle's mouth and can find a chunk of my hair with her eyes closed.

She likes being held and if you lay her down when she wants to be held, she will scream as loud as any grown woman can scream.  She loves to snuggle and loves to bury her head in the crook of her daddy's neck.  She's an affectionate little thing and quickly lets you know when she needs a snuggle, snack, or dry diaper.

It's a crazy feeling looking at her tiny face and knowing that is what I looked like 32 years ago.  I love that I get to raise my future best friend.

A few of her firsts;
1st camping trip (more details in another post)
1st Fall Festival on Franklin
1st time to eat at a restaurant (Los Bravos)

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Tuesday, October 8, 2013

One Month of Lila Liz

In the blink of an eye a month has passed (September 9, 2013).


At Birth            1 Month
7lbs 5oz            10lbs 1oz
19.5 inches          20 inches

Every morning I hear my little "Dolly" rustling around and soon after she fusses for me to come scoop her up and give her kisses.  Actually she wants me to feed her, but I like to think she wants to cuddle.  There's not a set time she gets up, but more often then not it's around 6am.  After an early breakfast and diaper change, she'll fall asleep again until around 8.

She's a pretty easy baby as long as my boobs are accessible.  She eats like I have never seen a baby eat before (this means you can most often find me sitting on our couch with the boppy and Lila on my lap).  As long as she has a full belly, she is a happy baby!  She sleeps most of the day and prefers to sleep on my chest as opposed to anywhere else.

Her night schedule hasn't been established but she typically goes down around 9pm and wakes to feed around 2 and 4.  She puts herself back to sleep quickly after eating, and I am back in bed within 45 minutes of getting up.  She slept in our room in her pack-n-play for the first 5 nights we were home before we moved her into her crib.  She didn't seem to mind or notice that she was no longer sleeping in our room and I didn't mind having to walk across the hall to feed her.  I am handling the sleep deprivation much better with her than I did with Paisley.  Maybe its because I knew what to expect this time?

She is not a fan of tummy time and has rolled over from stomach to back 1 time.  I think it was a fluke because she hasn't attempted to roll over since.  While doing tummy time she is pretty good at holding her head up and in a stable position for a decent amount of time.

Lila knows the voices of Scott and I and will follow us with her eyes.  She also has giggled, well it's a high pitched, breathy sound, but I assume it's a giggle.  She does it in her sleep while smiling and she also does it while smiling at the ceiling fan.  Watching the ceiling fan is currently one of her favorite activities.

She wore newborn clothes for about 2 weeks before I felt they were getting tight.  While it was bittersweet putting away the tiniest of clothes, I was excited for her to begin wearing her cute 0-3 month clothing.  I haven't put her in cloth diapers yet, but plan on doing so fairly soon.

Lila loves having her diaper changed and if I also take her clothes off, she does the "starfish."  She'll throw her little arms out wide and straighten her legs, therefore looking like a little starfish.  She starts coo-ing often while naked, making me think she likes feeling the cool air on her bits and pieces.  She doesn't mind taking a bath as long as she has a full belly.

She has an awesome grip and often pulls my hair while I hold her.  She's also good at holding onto fingers.  She'll put weight on her legs and will briefly support herself if you put her in a standing position and she will solve basic math problems when asked (ok, I'm kidding about the last part).


While she doesn't get the complete undivided attention that her brother got when he was her age, she isn't lacking in the love and attention area.  Not only does she get kisses from 2 loving parents, but also from a big brother.  He's been pretty good with her, although sometimes if he's feeling the green eyed monster take over, he'll thump her on the head.  This doesn't go over well with his father and I, so it doesn't happen often.

She looking more like me with each day and her hair is still on the dark side. She also has a darker skin tone than Scott or I.  We love our little dolly and thinks she's the perfect caboose for our family.

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