Monday, July 6, 2015

Time Marches On

Our last time in this room before the birth of our boy
Four years ago today I woke up early and took a long hot shower.  My bags were packed and I was excited and terrified, I was confident yet hesitant, I was strong but full of weakness.  I had faith but was so scared God may have a different plan.  It was the beginning of hospital bed rest.

Hospital sweet Hospital
I remember the morning minute by minute, all the feelings, the way Scott and I were entering into a new phase of our life, checking into the hospital and the duration being unknown.  Having zero control of anything is difficult, but to have zero control over the health of your child is excruciating.  So many times I prayed to God and our baby that if he could just be born healthy that I would spend every second of the rest of my life taking care of him.  Six weeks later, prayers were answered.

For this child we prayed
The other morning as the sun was peeking through the blinds, a tiny sleeper clad boy slipped into our bed.  Without a word he found his spot between his father and I and closed his eyes.  In the dimly lit room I could make out his eyelashes and see the outline of his upturned nose.  His lips were slightly puckered out and his profile was identical to all the ultrasounds we had during my pregnancy.

nap time with his bunny
As he looks me in the eyes and uses his hands to tell me wild stories about monster trucks driving in mud puddles, my mind reflects on those moments that I wondered what he would look like, who he would act like, and the sound of his voice.  I have the answers to those questions now.  I look at him and see his Great-Grandpa Vic, both in looks and love for nature.  I watch him ride 4-wheelers and hear him beg his dad to drive faster, he gets that need for speed from his father.  I see his defined chin and the need to have the final word, and I can look in the mirror and see who he gets that from.

My boy
He asks 452 questions a day and when he's not asking a question he's telling me a story.  He likes to know what our plan for the day is before he has his breakfast.  He keep my hands full, my feet busy, and my heart beating.  He taught me how to be a mom and how to raise a son.  Four years ago today all I could do is pray that he'd grow strong and healthy and have a safe delivery.  Today I can plan his 4th birthday, hug him and kiss him and tell him how much I love him.

He's my daily reminder that miracles happen and prayers get answered.

May the miracle you need be just around the corner.