|They already give me that look|
When Lila was first born I felt an enormous amount of guilt. I was exhausted, taking care of an infant and not able to give 100% of myself to Paisley. While he didn't act like he was enormously troubled by me suddenly having another little person to take care of, I literally felt awful. I blame most of that on hormones and (luckily) I don't feel so guilty anymore about giving him a sibling.
There were numerous times Paisley would "need" me while I was either feeding Lila or changing her diaper. Both of those tasks were difficult to quit in the middle of to fish a monster truck out from under the couch or pour him a bowl of raisins. These instances were difficult to manage as a toddler doesn't handle the phrase "just a second..." very well, nor does he understand that she needs my attention too.
|Ohhh those babies|
As they both have gotten older and don't need 100% of my attention, I do activities where each kid gets 1-on-1 time with me (Paisley - coloring/drawing, Lila - breastfeeding). I do a lot of joint activities like reading them books with both of them on my lap. Typically that activity ends with Lila grabbing Paisley and him responding with a yell "Lila No."
They can now take baths together which is great until it is time to get them out. I have to get Lila out first because I need to focus on her at all times when she is in the water, but Paisley throws a tantrum each time I get her out first. He screams until I have Lila wrapped up and secure and have returned to the tub to get him out. It makes me dread bath time as screaming and tears is inevitable (yet it still saves time to let them bathe together so I'll just let the tears fly).
Going to the grocery store requires more then a grocery list when shopping with 2. During flu season, I use a shopping cart cover with Paisley so he doesn't rub all over those nasty shopping carts. I have to wear Lila while I shop because there would be zero room for groceries in the cart if she was also in it. So there I am wearing a baby, pushing a toddler, and trying to find the organic spaghetti sauce. I say a silent prayer that neither one will decide to have a meltdown or that Paisley won't decide that he must go potty while we are strolling up and down the aisles. Each trip is a mission. If we get out with 90% of the items on my list and smiles on our 3 faces, that is a success.
|1 meltdown in progress and 1 on the way|
When one cries, the other cries. When Lila wants to eat, Paisley decides he is hungry. When one falls asleep, the other wakes them right back up (sometimes on purpose). It's hard. Sometimes when both of them cry, I join them.
If Paisley wakes up before Lila in the morning, he asks me when she'll wake up because he wants to tell her "good morning." He calls her "Lila Bean" and "Little Sister." He doesn't like sharing his toys with her, but he'll happily go find her Dolly and give it to her. I've overheard him saying "I love you so much" to her when he didn't know I was listening. He kisses her good-night every evening before I put her down for the night.
Paisley is her favorite person to watch. He can get her to stop crying and smile by looking in her direction. When they are on the ground playing together, they look at each and smile and laugh, speaking a silent language that only siblings understand. He gets her to laugh the way no one else can. Their love makes my heart full. Their laughter makes me join in, even if I haven't a clue what they are laughing at. Life with 2 is very hard, but I have never enjoyed a challenge more than I have raising these two kids.
Scott once said, "You know at times we may question why we did it (when we are both holding a screaming child, looking at each other through red rimmed exhausted eyes), but looking back, I'm so glad we did." Me too Scott, me too.
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