Thursday, September 25, 2014

How are You?

"How are you?" is the most common question I get asked as I run into friends I haven't seen in awhile or family members that I don't get to see as often as I'd like.  Usually I respond with the easy comment, "Good... busy!" said with a smile while glancing at my little tykes...usually one on my hip and the other hiding behind my legs.  And it's true!  I am good and busy.  But if you have an extra few minutes to listen or catch me in a minute I'm not worried about my children breaking something or smearing applesauce on your pants, this is what I'd tell you....

I'm tired!  Not because the babies aren't sleeping all night (because hallelujah they finally do), but because one wakes at 5am and the other goes non stop the entire day.  Literally, if we are not in the house, I am running after one trying to make sure he doesn't knock earth off its axis, because I think he could if he tried.

I'm half able to participate in conversations and only hear half of what you are saying.  Not because I don't care or don't want to listen.  I do, really I do.  But I've got to keep my eyes on the boy testing gravity by climbing on anything and everything while simultaneously jostling the baby on my hip who will scream with a vengeance if I stop moving.

I'm scatterbrained!  I'd like to say becoming a mom brought this on, but I'm pretty sure I've had this condition since birth.  Did I just ask you the same question twice?  Sorry, see above where I talk about only being able to give 25% of my attention.  Is that food on my shirt/face/in my hair?  Please tell me!  There is a 75% chance I did not look in the mirror very closely before leaving the house.  Am I eyeing your sandwich funny?  There's a good chance I made breakfast this morning, but mine is still sitting at the table untouched because while making sure the 2 littles ate breakfast I forgot about my own.

I'd tell you that some days the kids will scream for half an hour straight and I have no idea why.  I'd tell you the some days I think I'm ruining my kids life by giving them milk instead of soy, feeding them fruit that isn't organic, feeding them chicken that I have no idea if it is/isn't cage-free, allowing them to have more toys then they need, etc.  

With a small sigh and a shift in my eyes, I'll then tell you the other half of how I am....as night falls and babies are getting tucked into bed, I don't (not for a single night) forget how incredible it is to tuck my babies in bed.  I don't take for granted that it is a miracle these two little people are here, and I am their mother.  It is such a powerful thought that warm water gathers in the corners of my eyes.

I wouldn't trade any of it.  It is rough, I am worn, but I am good.  Very good.

Thank you for asking.