Thursday, August 22, 2013

Lila Elizabeth - Happy BIRTH Day

A few minutes before our alarm went off at 4:30 my eyes flew open.  Today was the day we would meet our daughter.  Today was the day our family of 3 became 4.  Today was the day we turned our little boy into a big brother.  No wonder my mind was wide awake.

I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything since midnight and naturally I was thirsty when I woke up.  I quickly brushed my teeth and packed my toothbrush.  While Scott showered I took out the trash and made sure we were leaving a clean house.

The temperature was slightly warm but there was a breeze.  The sky was still dark as we headed towards the hospital and there wasn't another car on the road.  Scott and I joked this was the calmest drive we have EVER had to the hospital.  We stopped at Donut Bank as I wanted to take the nurses donuts.  I didn't think before we got the donuts how hard it would be to hold 2 boxes of delicious smelling, fresh, assorted donuts on my lap, and not be able to eat any of them.  Talk about will power!

As we parked the car and gathered our bags, we couldn't believe how different this was than the morning we had Paisley.  This time was so calm and planned!  Normal never felt so good!  We checked in and headed to the 3rd floor.  We were quickly greeted by one of our favorite (and one of the best) nurses, Heather.  She was in the operating room when Paisley was born and I was so glad that she was a part of this delivery as well.  She had made an adorable "It's a Girl" sign and hung it on our door.  Various nurses that had been a part of our previous stay popped in to wish us well.  It was great seeing so many familiar faces and it was calming knowing I was in such good hands.
Scott and I with the nurses that brought Paisley into the world and now with us for Lila's birth

Heather started the IV and according to Heather and Scott, I suddenly turned grey and my lips turned blue.  I don't handle needles well.  After sucking on a cold wash cloth I felt a little better and my color returned to normal.  Scott was issued his scrubs (he looks pretty hot in scrubs by the way) and we waited on the fluid to drip into my system.  We watched the clock as the minutes slowly passed by.  We wouldn't be moving into the OR until after 7am and each minute between now and then I grew a little more nervous.

During my hospital bed rest with Paisley, Scott and I spent our 1 year anniversary in the comforts of a hospital room.  He gave me a prayer box that we wrote our prayers in prior to Paisley being born.  We brought the prayer box with us to the hospital for Lila's birth.  We spent a few minutes each writing our prayers for delivery down and putting them in.

As the IV bag filled me with fluid our other favorite nurse, Tara, (and another one of the best) came in and finished getting me ready to go.  Tara was also present for Paisley's birth and just so calming and sweet.  Tara brought in the baby bed and had personalized it for our little miss.  Did I mention these nurses are amazing? The anesthesiologist came in and introduced himself.  Scott and I could tell we were going to like him.  My OB came in and asked with a smile if we were ready to go.  With nurse Tara at our side, we made our way towards the OR.

I didn't notice the smell of coffee in the hallway this time nor how quiet the hospital is at this early hour.  I was so nervous about the event we were now moments from and equally excited to meet our baby girl.

Scott had to stay outside the OR until my medicine had been administered.  It felt like forever that he wasn't at my side and I felt relief when I heard his voice inches from my head.  The needle going into my spine didn't hurt that bad...until he had to stick me 2 additional times (he was very apologetic and I was just happy I didn't feel my stomach getting cut open moments later).

Ready to go meet our daughter
The blue tarp separating my head from the rest of my body was in place and the "bear-hug" had been put across my chest to keep me warm.  Scott was seated to the left of my head and the anesthesiologist was at my right.  Nurse Tara gave a run down to everyone in the room  who I was, blood type, etc.    

As the process began, I was focused on one thing...listening for the first cry from our daughter.  My OB told me I would feel pressure as they began pulling her from my belly.  The anesthesiologist  was also giving me updates and was saying they almost had her.  Suddenly I heard excited voices saying "look at her hair."  A smile crossed my face as I imagined her hair.  Immediately I forgave her for the extreme heartburn.  Scott had stood up and was taking pictures as our daughter joined the world.  Her very unhappy cry filled the room and I couldn't hold back the tears that filled my eyes.  Finally, she was here and she sounded perfect.  As I watched Scott's face, I looked for any signs that there were any issues.  As he beamed at the image on the other side of the curtain, I began asking if she was alright.  He looked at me with a big smile and shook his head yes.

As the tears rolled down the sides of my swollen face, it felt like hours before they brought my daughter into my view.  She was perfect at 7 lbs. 5.1 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long.  Her pouty lips threatened to resume crying at any time, her dark hair looked like a shortened version of my hair, and she was tiny and perfect and here.  They whisked her away to clean her up and I was a mess of tears and smiles.  I watched my husband as he watched our daughter.  I listened to the voices in the OR, suddenly more talkative and upbeat than they were 5 minutes earlier as they worked to bring her into the world.  My OB had already began putting me back together.
Daddy and Lila 
They asked her name and I was proud to announce that our daughter would be named Lila Elizabeth.  Lila was a name Scott and I both loved and Elizabeth is after my grandmother Florence and me.  I was ready to take our baby girl into my arms and introduce her to Paisley and the rest of our family.  Scott brought our daughter to me and I was able to kiss her face and tell her I love her.  She was wrapped up in a blanket so I asked Scott if she had all her fingers and toes.  "Yes,"he said with a smile.

Momma and baby
A few differences from last time to now was I was so much more aware this time around...and it was just such a different experience.  As I was on the operating table and getting hooked up to various machines and draping the tarps in place, I felt very naked.  Not that I should even think about nudity while about to birth a child, I just felt extremely naked.  The OR didn't feel like a dream that I was watching through some one else's eyes, but I was very much present and there, aware of each sound and minute that passed.  Scott was visibly more relaxed this time and even cut the umbilical cord.  After my incision had been closed, my arms didn't shake uncontrollably like they did previously.
Our wonderful OB that has delivered our 2 babes
Now that Lila was here, I was able to take a deep breathe and relax.  No more worrying about complications or the delivery.  She is here, she is healthy, and she was ready to meet the rest of the family.
So in love with our newest addition

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Monday, August 19, 2013

Almost Time to Meet Miss "L"

Besides getting settled into our new home, I also poured as much love into our little fish as possible.  I stared at him a little longer than normal as he sat in his highchair eating breakfast.  I watched his lightening fast movement as he raced through the day, playing with various toys and often running to me asking for a "huggy" (hug).  As he suddenly began asking me to rock him before bed (which I hadn't done in months), I happily agreed and sang him song after song until I couldn't think of another lyric.  I held my boy tight and tried imagining life with two.  I was anxious and excited all at the same time.
My wedding bands stopped fitting weeks ago and in their place I wore my maternal grandmothers wedding band and a diamond band from my paternal grandmother.  My belly button had long ago changed from a small cavern to a flat plateau.  My ankles started to look swollen as were my legs.  Sleep became an elusive friend that would leave me staring at the ceiling from 3am until Paisley woke at 6:30.  That made for an exhausted Mommas as the sun came up and day rolled on. Nap time became a favorite part of each day as I snuggeled my little fish close and got to catch a few Zzz's.   During the hours I slept, my bladder threatened our sheets if I didn't report to the bathroom every 2 hours.  As excited as I was to have a normal body, part of me wanted to keep our little baby "L" right where she was forever.

Scott was ready to meet his daughter and his excitement was contagious.  As we were within single digit days of meeting our daughter,  we took photos as a family of 3 and spent more time around the dinner table telling Paisley about the baby that would be joining our family soon!  My mom came to our house to help with last minute cleaning and laundry and pour even more love into the soon-to-be big brother.  We prepared our little fish and our home as much as we possibly could.  The only thing left to do was wait for August 9th.

August 8, my mom came and spent the entire day with Paisley and I while Scott worked.  I wanted to rest and take it easy but nesting mode was in full swing.  I ended up touching up paint on the walls in Paisley's room and washing anything that appeared less than sterile.  I wanted time to stop so I could enjoy this moment.  The loves of my life were two identical blue eyed boys, 30 years apart.  My brain couldn't imagine where and how this baby girl was going to fit into the scheme of things.  I just wanted to soak in these last few hours.  As Scott got home from work and loved on his boy, my mom loaded up her car with Paisley's overnight bag for the next few nights.  I hated sending Paisley away for the night, but since Scott and I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 the next morning, it only made sense to let Paisley sleep at my sisters where he could sleep in and be brought to the hospital later in the morning to meet his baby sister.

We said good-bye to my mom and our only child, then Scott and I headed to the Red Geranium in New Harmony for dinner.  This is a special place for Scott and I as this is where we got engaged.  I was excited that Scott said he wanted to go there.  As we waited for our food, we talked about the past 2 years.  We reminisced about our pregnancy with Paisley and how different this time was.  As difficult as it was to get Paisley here safely, it has been so easy carrying Miss "L."  Sure I've had back pain, indigestion, thought I was going to fail the 3 hour gestational diabetes test, and got to experience the joys of hemorrhoids, but that was nothing compared to 12 weeks of bed-rest and the fear of losing little P.  Nothing will ever compare to that.

Tears welled in my eyes as I admitted my fear of something going wrong the following day.  What if there were complications during the c-section or even worse...what if something went wrong with Miss "L."  There are so many things that could go wrong...and if something did go wrong, then what?  With a smile on his face and his blue eyes filled with love, Scott said, "We've done everything we can to get her here as safe and healthy as possible.  At this point it's out of our control.  No matter what condition "L" arrives in, we're just going to love her like we love her brother."  I needed to hear that.  While I was still nervous and anxious, I felt peace knowing Scott and I were ready for the next morning.

We headed home and Scott and I snuggeled on the couch for awhile before double checking our bags and climbing into bed.  I thought about all the things that this was the last time last shower/shaving my legs being pregnant, the last time I would attempt to sleep in this bed pregnant, the last time my big belly would be pressed up against Scotts back...often kicking him until he would scoot over.   I paid attention to her hiccups and what an amazing feeling it was.  I rested my hands on my stomach, enjoying every last kick and poke she gave me.  It's amazing that I was able to sleep at all, but sleep did come....and 4:30am was right around the corner.

My last night pregnant

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