Adulthood

Back when I knew it all.....

Growing up is a funny thing.  I look and feel like I'm growing older and wiser, but my mind...well I swear sometimes I still feel like a 12 year old girl. 

Maybe getting married will make me feel more like
an adult?

At my current job I oversee roughly 78 college age students.  Sometimes I mistakenly call them kids (not to their faces) and while we may only be 5-10 years apart in age, sometimes they make me feel MUCH older.  I like that some of them ask me for advice, "Where did you register when you got married" and "Should I spend a semester at Harlaxton?"  But sometimes they ask questions that make me feel like a dinosaur, "Do you know what Bonnaroo is?" or "Were there online classes when you were in college?"  I thought supervising/mentoring college age students would make me feel more like an adult...but nope, the 12 year old part of me still giggles in my head when they make inappropriate comments while my professional side tells them that behavior isn't acceptable.  Luckily my professional side keeps my younger side in check.

I really enjoy working with this age group.  Do I think I will make a huge impact on their lives and make them all better/more productive members of society?  Probably not, but if I can instill some good work ethic into one or two of these "kids," and if they see the positive example I am trying to be for them, then I will consider this summer job a success.  I want them to view me as an adult they can look up to and trust.  Fingers crossed that I'm succeeding. 

Maybe having a son will make me feel more like
an adult?

I have a son.  I'm going to repeat that again because it is so cool to say, "I have a son."  In some ways, I feel like I excel at this parenting business.  In other ways, if I stop to think about it, it scares the dickens out of me!  The other night after I had put P to bed, Scott and I were sitting on the couch talking about being parents.  How crazy that we call the shots on all aspects of this little guys life?  When we think it's time for him to go to bed, we put him to bed.  When we think he needs to eat, we feed him.  And not only do we just feed him, but we get to decide what food is best for him, and how it should be prepared.  That's a lot to think about!  I admit that some evenings I feel quite hypocritical as I give him fruit and veggies for dinner and feed myself a bag of Grippos and chocolate chips. 

I remember being little and under my parents roof.  I hated bedtime.  I remember hearing the theme song to "Cheers" come on and know the inevitable was coming.  I would practically become nauseous I hated bedtime that much.  Even at 10 years old, I longed for the day that I could decide when it was time for me to go to bed.  Now, I can stay up at late as I want (usually 10pm is as late as I want) and I'm doing the good-night kisses and tucking a little one in bed.  My role has changed and I love playing that role, despite the "I hope I"m doing this right" thoughts.

Silly me

While I try to hide my silly ways while I'm at work, little P gets to see his Momma in all her silly glory.  It isn't uncommon for Scott to find us singing and dancing in the kitchen, and yes, occasionally I will be jumping on the bed with our boy.  It's ok for adults to do that sort of thing, right?  I'm hoping I am showing our son that life is fun and it's ok to be silly.  There's a time and a place to be serious, but life's about treating others with respect, doing what's right, laughing, loving, and enjoying the journey.  My journey into adulthood may look and act a little different from others, but I don't think my family has any complaints.  Maybe adulthood isn't so bad after all...now I need to go eat some fudgerounds and rock a sleepy baby.  Maybe when I retire I will start to feel like an adult?

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