Birth-Day!!

Ready or not...here he comes!

As Dr. Schroeder predicted, around midnight my nurses Heather and Tara showed up to start my IV. Surprisingly, Scott and I had managed to get a little sleep prior to that. At this time I have had the needle in place in my wrist for about a week. This is the first time it has actually been hooked up to a drip bag. I also watched them throw away my cup of water. It’s amazing how when you can’t have anything to drink, you suddenly feel like you've been walking in the desert for days. I was able to fall back asleep once they got me drip bag hooked up. At 2 A.M. they returned to put me on the monitor and watch how baby was doing. I stayed awake for the entire hour watching and listening to the monitor. As much as I’ve disliked being hooked up to the monitor everyday for “x” amount of hours, I have enjoyed every second of hearing Paisley’s heartbeat. As I watched it for the final hour, I thought to myself this would be the last night I would be on the monitor with this baby. Surgery time was getting closer and closer and my brain just kept thinking “we’re about to have a baby.”

At 3 A.M. my nurses returned to take me off the monitor stating baby looked beautiful. They said they would return around 5 to finish getting me ready for my date with the operating room. As they left I decided to wheel my IV pole to the restroom. This is the moment my world stood still and yet everything went into overdrive all in an instant. I was bleeding. For the past 6 weeks, I have been in the hospital praying I wouldn’t start bleeding. The reason I was admitted was for my Dr. to have the ability to take the baby immediately should I start. Here it was 3.5 hours until our scheduled C-Section and I was bleeding. I hurried back to my bed as quick I could drag my IV across the room. I hit the call light and waited. I said to Scott, who was sleeping so peacefully at my feet on the air mattress, “Baby?” After saying it a few times he stirred and looked at me. “I’m bleeding,” I said. Within seconds he was at my side, eyes as wide as they would go. Tara answered my call light and once again I uttered those 2 words, “I’m bleeding.”

The nurses were there instantly, asking me about the amount of blood and putting me back on the monitor. One of the girls disappeared to call Dr. Schroeder and the other went to work finishing up my surgery prep. Tara told me that everything was going to happen the way we had previously discussed, only we were going to be doing everything a little sooner.

It seemed like seconds later the anesthesiologist was at my side. I had never met Dr. Boger but was completely at ease with him. He was very soft spoken and had a relaxed demeanor. He explained that since things were progressing in a different way than our original plan, he thought it would be best to completely knock me out, as opposed to giving me the spinal that had been part of the original plan.  Since we were unsure how bad the bleed is or where exactly it was coming from, he said the sooner they can get him out, the better.  He began explaining the process of putting a pipe down my throat and the potential of it chipping teeth. I wanted to assure him that I had a good dentist but didn’t think it was the time or place for humor.

By this time, Scott had dressed in his scrubs and anxiously hung on to every word the nurses and Dr. Boger were saying. I was trying to listen and quiet my brain which had went into a tailspin over the fact I was minutes away from having this baby out of me all while hoping it was not him that was bleeding. They began moving my bed towards the OR and Scott was at my side. I remember smelling coffee brewing in the hall and how silent the hospital was at this hour. They told Scott to kiss me bye because at this point, they didn’t figure he would be going into the room with me as spouses are not allowed in the operating room if the patient is completely sedated. It was a quick kiss good-bye but I remember seeing fear in his eyes. It was the first time I ever saw that look. We left him in a rocking chair outside the OR doors.

As we entered the OR, it was as if I was viewing the situation in a dream-like state. The room was stark white and the sounds seemed muted. It was cold. I was transferred from my bed onto the operating table. My arms were put on boards that went straight out to the side. I was hooked up to the monitor and was happy to hear that baby was still doing great. His little heartbeat showed he wasn’t being affected by the blood loss or whatever was happening inside my body. Warm blankets were quickly put on my chest and I remember thinking how good they felt. Dr. Schroeder appeared at my side and I was so happy to see her. She had told me from day one she would deliver this baby whenever he came, and here she was, scrubbed in and ready to go at 3 in the morning. She checked the amount of blood I was currently losing which was not a continuous or large amount and informed the anesthesiologist that we would administer the spinal as previously planned. I was grateful that I would not be knocked out and Scott would be allowed in the OR. I was sat up and told to lean over the side of the bed, into the arms of Nurse Heather. With my head on her shoulder, I was instructed to push my spine out as far as I could. It was not easy with a big belly, but the Dr. was able to insert the spinal. I felt the stick and a burning sensation. I was gently laid back on the table and they slowly begin poking me with a needle to see how numb I was. They had administered the highest dosage of the numbing agent as they were hoping it would work quickly. Naturally my body tried fighting it and the Dr. tilted my bed with my head towards the floor in an effort to make the medicine move through my system quicker. Eventually they said I was numb enough and Dr. Schroeder told one of the nurses to grab Scott because we were starting.


He is born!!

I was so happy to see Scott and he sat down right next to my head. The anesthesiologist was on the other side of me asking me how I was feeling and monitoring my vitals. Scott also would ask how I was feeling and would tell me how good I was doing. I felt no pain and then the Dr. told me I would feel some tugging and pulling. Sure enough I could feel my body being moved about but I never felt any pain. The Dr. announced she could see his face and Scott stood up to watch the finale. Soon after I heard this growl/scream sound and I asked if that was our baby. I heard someone say “yes,” and I let myself exhale for the first time in months. 90% of my body was numb but I remember smiling. It may have been the biggest smile I have ever had in my life. The Dr. brought him to me and I was able to kiss his face. It was the most beautiful sight. He scrunched his face up and pushed out his lips. The tiny face I had only seen in ultra sound pictures was right in front of me. There were a million things I wanted to say to him, but all I could do was breath, smile, and thank God that this moment was happening. I didn’t know if we would ever make it to this point, but here we were. My husband was standing next to me, and our son was inches from my face, acting like a perfect newborn. It was a moment and a feeling that I can’t put into words, nor will I ever forget it. It seems I only got to kiss him and stare into his face a few seconds before the nurse whisked him away to take care of him. As the nurse cleaned him off, I heard her laugh and say she just got peed on. That’s our son.

My first look at our son

Scott got to hold him a few minutes before Paisley was taken to the nursery for observation. The nurses and Dr. asked if we would finally say what Baby P’s name was and Scott and I happily announced “Paisley Andrew.” After 6 weeks of taking care of me and Baby P, the nurses were happy to finally know his name.

Dr. Schroeder went to work putting me back together and Scott stayed with me while that happened. He is writing his own account of the morning’s events. We both agreed that the entire surgery felt like an out of body experience. We feel like we were able to witness the surgery, but it was as though we were spectators and not an actual part of it. Once Humpty Dumpty was repaired, Scott headed to the nursery to check on our son. I was taken back to my room to recover.

At this point the day’s events are murky and spotty. I was coherent enough throughout the rest of the day that I remember seeing my parents and sister for the first time after they saw Paisley. My sister was crying and my parents were smiling ear to ear. Scott was going back and forth between the nursery and my recovery room. I wanted more than anything to be able to join him in the nursery, but I still couldn’t feel my legs at the time.

The nurses and Dr. Schroeder were continually checking my incision, take my blood pressure and temperature. After an hour or so in recovery, they moved us to our new post-partum room. The room had a hospital bed as well as a queen sized bed. I had to stay in the hospital bed for 24 hrs post surgery but I was so happy that Scott would be in a real bed and not on an air mattress.

Paisley was wheeled into our room a short time later. They couldn’t put him in my arms fast enough. I stared into his little face and covered him in kisses. The lactation consults showed up and assisted in teaching me how to get Paisley to latch and how nursing works in general.

Happy Birth Day baby!

Throughout the day we had visitors however I can’t recall what was said or who all showed up. I was still on a pain medication that kept me pain-free but also living in a bit of a fog. The baby was taken from our room to the nursery throughout the day to alternate between me feeding him and being monitored by the nursery. Each time they took him, I felt sad that he wasn’t with me. I remember telling Scott that I didn’t like my arms being empty. Each time he was wheeled back into our room, my heart would leap and all I could think about was hugging our boy.

I loved watching Scott hold our little man and at one point, the 3 of us were snuggled up in my bed together. It felt perfect and comfortable. Even though we had never held our baby until now, the 3 of us bonded as if we had all been together our entire lives. It had been a long hard road, but here we were standing at the end of this journey. I had not allowed myself to even imagine that it would end with such beauty, amazement, and more love than our hearts had known. 


My boys

That night, I watched my husband comfortably slip into his new role as Dad. When Paisley would cry, it was Scott that changed every diaper. When Paisley was hungry, Scott would bring him to my hospital bed so I could feed him. I wasn’t allowed out of bed for 24 hours, so Scott continued to carry the load of mobile parent, as he had for the past 12 weeks. I had always thought it would be impossible for me to love Scott anymore, but having Paisley has allowed my heart more room to love, both for him and his Daddy.

I closed my eyes listening to the sound of our newborn son cooing from his bed, the sound of my husband shuffling around the dark room taking care of his wife and baby, and I finally let myself relax. Paisley was here. The Fisher family was safe and sound and ready for the next chapter.

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