Hard is Hard
"You can do hard things."
It's such a simple phrase that I heard while I was pregnant with Paisley. We were roughly 4 months past losing our honeymoon baby and here we were expecting. Could we go through the worst case scenario again? Were we mentally ready to handle this? We wanted so desperately to be excited and dream about the little person I was carrying, but we knew the possibility of this dream being shattered like fine china falling onto a tile floor. The reality of everything was hard.
Mid-way through the pregnancy is when we received the diagnosis of vasa previa, 100% fatal if not caught before birth. It was a hard diagnosis to hear, but we caught it. We were prepared. We were armed with information and a plan. It was hard to take it all in, but someone said, "You can do hard things." With that mind-set we continued on.
While my pregnancy continued I had a conversation with a close friend that is struggling with infertility. She made the comment, "I don't know which is harder, not being able to get pregnant or losing a baby?" I thought about that comment a lot. To me, I will never know what it's like to struggle conceiving, but I know what it's like to lose a child. You can't compare situations....so the answer is...they are both hard. They both suck. But you can't compare them. Hard is hard.
As I went on bed rest in the hospital and lived in my tiny room, the doctors and nurses often asked how I was able to remain upbeat and positive. It's because I can do hard things. Because I had lost a child and survived. Because I was going to bring this child into the world if it killed me. And when the time came, it was scary. It was hard. But I can do hard things and we brought this boy into the world.
A couple weeks ago a friend was talking about her pregnancy. Her fluid was low and the doctor was making a decision on when to take the baby. As she spoke about the situation she said, "I know it isn't anything like what you went through...." and she trailed off. I laughed and explained that "no, it wasn't like my situation, but that doesn't lessen the fact that it's hard to deal with." Hard is hard.
Today I learned of a friend who just found out her baby had an abnormal MRI. The brain shows signs of abnormalities. I can't imagine the fear the parents are feeling. It's going to be hard for them as they learn their new normal. But, they are going to emerge from this diagnosis stronger then they ever imagined, because they can do hard things.
Life is hard. Hard is hard. But you can do hard things.
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| A little rainbow baby |
Mid-way through the pregnancy is when we received the diagnosis of vasa previa, 100% fatal if not caught before birth. It was a hard diagnosis to hear, but we caught it. We were prepared. We were armed with information and a plan. It was hard to take it all in, but someone said, "You can do hard things." With that mind-set we continued on.
While my pregnancy continued I had a conversation with a close friend that is struggling with infertility. She made the comment, "I don't know which is harder, not being able to get pregnant or losing a baby?" I thought about that comment a lot. To me, I will never know what it's like to struggle conceiving, but I know what it's like to lose a child. You can't compare situations....so the answer is...they are both hard. They both suck. But you can't compare them. Hard is hard.
As I went on bed rest in the hospital and lived in my tiny room, the doctors and nurses often asked how I was able to remain upbeat and positive. It's because I can do hard things. Because I had lost a child and survived. Because I was going to bring this child into the world if it killed me. And when the time came, it was scary. It was hard. But I can do hard things and we brought this boy into the world.
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| He's "perfect" |
Today I learned of a friend who just found out her baby had an abnormal MRI. The brain shows signs of abnormalities. I can't imagine the fear the parents are feeling. It's going to be hard for them as they learn their new normal. But, they are going to emerge from this diagnosis stronger then they ever imagined, because they can do hard things.
Life is hard. Hard is hard. But you can do hard things.
I couldn't agree more! It's such a good and humbling reminder that everyone seems to be going through their own hard things these days. It's a blessing to have people to share your burdens with. Thanks for the reminder today.
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