Almost Time to Meet Miss "L"
My wedding bands stopped fitting weeks ago and in their place I wore my maternal grandmothers wedding band and a diamond band from my paternal grandmother. My belly button had long ago changed from a small cavern to a flat plateau. My ankles started to look swollen as were my legs. Sleep became an elusive friend that would leave me staring at the ceiling from 3am until Paisley woke at 6:30. That made for an exhausted Mommas as the sun came up and day rolled on. Nap time became a favorite part of each day as I snuggeled my little fish close and got to catch a few Zzz's. During the hours I slept, my bladder threatened our sheets if I didn't report to the bathroom every 2 hours. As excited as I was to have a normal body, part of me wanted to keep our little baby "L" right where she was forever.
Scott was ready to meet his daughter and his excitement was contagious. As we were within single digit days of meeting our daughter, we took photos as a family of 3 and spent more time around the dinner table telling Paisley about the baby that would be joining our family soon! My mom came to our house to help with last minute cleaning and laundry and pour even more love into the soon-to-be big brother. We prepared our little fish and our home as much as we possibly could. The only thing left to do was wait for August 9th.
August 8, my mom came and spent the entire day with Paisley and I while Scott worked. I wanted to rest and take it easy but nesting mode was in full swing. I ended up touching up paint on the walls in Paisley's room and washing anything that appeared less than sterile. I wanted time to stop so I could enjoy this moment. The loves of my life were two identical blue eyed boys, 30 years apart. My brain couldn't imagine where and how this baby girl was going to fit into the scheme of things. I just wanted to soak in these last few hours. As Scott got home from work and loved on his boy, my mom loaded up her car with Paisley's overnight bag for the next few nights. I hated sending Paisley away for the night, but since Scott and I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 the next morning, it only made sense to let Paisley sleep at my sisters where he could sleep in and be brought to the hospital later in the morning to meet his baby sister.
We said good-bye to my mom and our only child, then Scott and I headed to the Red Geranium in New Harmony for dinner. This is a special place for Scott and I as this is where we got engaged. I was excited that Scott said he wanted to go there. As we waited for our food, we talked about the past 2 years. We reminisced about our pregnancy with Paisley and how different this time was. As difficult as it was to get Paisley here safely, it has been so easy carrying Miss "L." Sure I've had back pain, indigestion, thought I was going to fail the 3 hour gestational diabetes test, and got to experience the joys of hemorrhoids, but that was nothing compared to 12 weeks of bed-rest and the fear of losing little P. Nothing will ever compare to that.
Tears welled in my eyes as I admitted my fear of something going wrong the following day. What if there were complications during the c-section or even worse...what if something went wrong with Miss "L." There are so many things that could go wrong...and if something did go wrong, then what? With a smile on his face and his blue eyes filled with love, Scott said, "We've done everything we can to get her here as safe and healthy as possible. At this point it's out of our control. No matter what condition "L" arrives in, we're just going to love her like we love her brother." I needed to hear that. While I was still nervous and anxious, I felt peace knowing Scott and I were ready for the next morning.
We headed home and Scott and I snuggeled on the couch for awhile before double checking our bags and climbing into bed. I thought about all the things that this was the last time for...my last shower/shaving my legs being pregnant, the last time I would attempt to sleep in this bed pregnant, the last time my big belly would be pressed up against Scotts back...often kicking him until he would scoot over. I paid attention to her hiccups and what an amazing feeling it was. I rested my hands on my stomach, enjoying every last kick and poke she gave me. It's amazing that I was able to sleep at all, but sleep did come....and 4:30am was right around the corner.
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August 8, my mom came and spent the entire day with Paisley and I while Scott worked. I wanted to rest and take it easy but nesting mode was in full swing. I ended up touching up paint on the walls in Paisley's room and washing anything that appeared less than sterile. I wanted time to stop so I could enjoy this moment. The loves of my life were two identical blue eyed boys, 30 years apart. My brain couldn't imagine where and how this baby girl was going to fit into the scheme of things. I just wanted to soak in these last few hours. As Scott got home from work and loved on his boy, my mom loaded up her car with Paisley's overnight bag for the next few nights. I hated sending Paisley away for the night, but since Scott and I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 the next morning, it only made sense to let Paisley sleep at my sisters where he could sleep in and be brought to the hospital later in the morning to meet his baby sister.
We said good-bye to my mom and our only child, then Scott and I headed to the Red Geranium in New Harmony for dinner. This is a special place for Scott and I as this is where we got engaged. I was excited that Scott said he wanted to go there. As we waited for our food, we talked about the past 2 years. We reminisced about our pregnancy with Paisley and how different this time was. As difficult as it was to get Paisley here safely, it has been so easy carrying Miss "L." Sure I've had back pain, indigestion, thought I was going to fail the 3 hour gestational diabetes test, and got to experience the joys of hemorrhoids, but that was nothing compared to 12 weeks of bed-rest and the fear of losing little P. Nothing will ever compare to that.
Tears welled in my eyes as I admitted my fear of something going wrong the following day. What if there were complications during the c-section or even worse...what if something went wrong with Miss "L." There are so many things that could go wrong...and if something did go wrong, then what? With a smile on his face and his blue eyes filled with love, Scott said, "We've done everything we can to get her here as safe and healthy as possible. At this point it's out of our control. No matter what condition "L" arrives in, we're just going to love her like we love her brother." I needed to hear that. While I was still nervous and anxious, I felt peace knowing Scott and I were ready for the next morning.
We headed home and Scott and I snuggeled on the couch for awhile before double checking our bags and climbing into bed. I thought about all the things that this was the last time for...my last shower/shaving my legs being pregnant, the last time I would attempt to sleep in this bed pregnant, the last time my big belly would be pressed up against Scotts back...often kicking him until he would scoot over. I paid attention to her hiccups and what an amazing feeling it was. I rested my hands on my stomach, enjoying every last kick and poke she gave me. It's amazing that I was able to sleep at all, but sleep did come....and 4:30am was right around the corner.
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| My last night pregnant |
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