Life with "P"

The days that followed P's birth were a peaceful whirlwind of activity.  After 24 hours, I was allowed to move from my hospital bed into the queen size bed with my husband.  I will forever be amazed that this sweet husband of mine slept for 36 nights on an air mattress at the foot of my hospital bed.  Not once did he complain or mention going home and sleeping in our bed.  I think it's safe to say my husband loves me.

My incision healed nicely but hurt like crazy when I would get up from laying down.  P stayed in our room 90% of the time, only leaving when the nursery needed to take vitals or his Dr. was making her rounds.  Holding him in my arms made time stand still.  I could not drink in his features quick enough.  Each sound he made would melt my heart.  Every time he would wrinkle his forehead and stretch I wanted to squeeze him close and never let go.  I was amazed.  And sleep deprived. 

During the night, every sound he made caused Scott and I to jump up and rush to his side.  We quickly learned our baby was subject to frequently getting the hiccups, which he hated.  There isn't much you can do for a baby with hiccups.  We also learned he loved to pee the moment his diaper was removed.  In the middle of the night, it is quite the shock to feel a warm stream of pee shoot you in chest.  P also makes noises all night long.  He alternates between purring like a baby cub and growling like a hungry bear.

When P was 1 day old, we learned (at 3am) that he passed his hearing test! Yeah!  That day we also had a "Birth" day party for him complete with cake and gifts.  Family and friends filtered in over the next couple of days.  The nurses continued to come in every few hours to check my vitals and the incision.  I was ecstatic when they said I was able to shower! 

Scott was at our side every moment.  When I wasn't feeding P, he would take a turn holding our boy and telling him how much he loved him.  It was a sight that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time.  My Dr. said she would let us leave the hospital on Friday if we wanted or we could leave Sat., our choice.  Scott and I figured we would let the professionals look over P for another 24 hours, then we would venture home on Saturday. 

The night before our departure, P had to take the car seat challenge where he had to sit in his car seat in the nursery for 2 hours.  I guess some infants have trouble breathing in that position, so they make sure babies can handle it before sending them home.  I was so happy P passed the test.  I was ready to get our son home.

Saturday came and we anxiously waited to be released.  I was dressed in my own clothes which was a nice change from the hospital gowns.  We put P in a onesie that said "Handsome Like Daddy."  The pants and jacket that went with the outfit were entirely too big for his tiny body, so he left in just his onesie, hat, and socks.  Once my wheelchair arrived, we loaded up and I was pushed outside.  It was with excitement and a little bit of nervousness that I climbed into our car.  Nervous that we were taking our tiny infant son home and I didn't know what exactly to do once we got there. 

On the drive home, I felt free.  It was a blue sky day with a warm breeze.  I hadn't been in a car in 6.5 weeks.  We stopped at Subway to get lunch.  I sat in the backseat with P because I was afraid he would feel lonely back there by himself.  Lady Gaga was singing "Standing on the Edge of Glory" and somehow that felt like a very appropriate song.  Scott drove more cautiously than he had ever driven in his life. 

Once we were home, I settled in on the couch with P while Scott brought in our items from living in the hospital.  We sat on the couch and held our baby.  It's safe to say we sat there for hours, staring at this miracle that we had been given.  As night fell, I attempted to read P the book, "Guess How Much I Love You."  I barely made it past the first half of the book before I was a sobbing mess.  I was overcome with love and emotion.  As Scott embraced us and asked why I was so upset, I explained; throughout this entire pregnancy, we were on this roller coaster of emotion.  I tried to stay strong and often held my feelings in.  I was scared to think too far ahead because we lived under the fear that P may or may not make it into this world.  Now, here I was holding our perfectly healthy baby boy and every emotion I had suppressed for the previous 7 months came flooding out of me.  I didn't have to try and be strong anymore.  It was tears of relief that poured out of me.  Not to mention, here I was trying to read a book to our baby about how much I love him and the words were so inadequate. 

The first few nights we had to wake P up every 3 hours to feed him.  There weren't too many times that he let us wake him up, often waking us up and letting us know it was time to feed.  It was also more tiring than I ever imagined, getting up numerous times to feed him.  Scott nor I had ever been this sleep deprived, not even in college!

Scott took off a week and half so we could adjust to our new "normal."  Slowly but surely that's exactly what we did.  Our newest adventure had begun...

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